Author: donaldCBR

Episode 61 – Red Dead Nihilism

Episode 61 – Red Dead Nihilism

The guys discuss Red Dead Redemption and come to the startling conclusion that everything is meaningless. Might as well stop doing the podcast!

…no, but seriously, this is our last show.

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Episode 60 – I’m Married To My Arm

Episode 60 – I’m Married To My Arm

Dead wives, experimental weapons, and the return of the Nazis… er, Nazz. Cort joins the guys to talk about Bionic Commando.

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Episode 59 – Return of the Shoppers

Episode 59 – Return of the Shoppers

The guys return to the virtual supermarket once again to torture each other with the worst game of would you rather own. Join us as games are put up against everyday items? What item will win and what item will be left by the wayside? You may even find out how much Brad likes a friend from his past.

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What Did You Play? – Far Cry Finale

What Did You Play? – Far Cry Finale

Donald completes his Far Cry 3 playthrough and updates us on how Dennis made out. Brad continues reliving his teenage years via Capcom.

We Talk about
Far Cry 3
Street Fighter Collection

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Episode 58 – Mark Tank

Episode 58 – Mark Tank

Everyone likes to think they have a killer idea for the next hit video game, but what happens when our two hosts pitch their game ideas to an actual game designer. Mark makes another special appearance to try to decide which of the guys’ ideas is less bad.

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What Did You Play? – Far Cup Playoffs 3

What Did You Play? – Far Cup Playoffs 3

The guys come in for their regular recap of what they’ve been playing, but it turns out one if them hadn’t done their homework.

We Talk about
Far Cry 3
Hockey

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Episode 57 – Sonic’s “Pretty Good, I Guess” Genesis Collection

Episode 57 – Sonic’s “Pretty Good, I Guess” Genesis Collection

The Genesis Classics Collection drops this week featuring over 50 Sega Genesis games… and about 25 you’d actually want to play. The guys separate the greats from the ESWATs and help listeners decide which games should take priority.

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What did you Play? – Make Them Rum Ostrich

What did you Play? – Make Them Rum Ostrich

This week, Donald burns down a marijuana field in Far Cry 3, and then breaks all his cool stuff in Zelda Breath of the Wild. Brad plays X-Com and, in one of his Brad-iest moments ever, makes the economic case for why perpetual warfare is better than defeating the aliens.

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Episode 56 – CBR Has Died of Dysentery

Episode 56 – CBR Has Died of Dysentery

It’s another host vs host week, as Donald and Brad compete against each other to move their families (or in Brad’s case, Guns n’ Roses) across the country and start up a new life at the end of the Oregon Trail. Will Donald’s cost-cutting risks pay off with him finishing the game with more money, or with a big ol’ pile of corpses?

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What Did You Play? – Ice Cream Sandwiches

What Did You Play? – Ice Cream Sandwiches

Donald continues his playthrough of Far Cry 3, and the guys may have finally solved the mystery of why Rook Island’s inhabitants never got around to liberating themselves. It has a lot more to do with old VHS tapes than you might think. Also, Brad gives us an economics lesson on the Law of Diminishing Mega Man Utility.

Games Talked about this episode:
Far Cry 3
Demon’s Souls
Mega Man Legacy Collection

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Episode 55 – Umbrella Security Solutions

Episode 55 – Umbrella Security Solutions

Everyone knows that the puzzles in Resident Evil 1 are completely ridiculous, but in this episode, the guys take a deeper look to determine… could they actually work? As in, is there a viable (though whimsical and incredibly inconvenient) security system in place? And just how important is being able to play the piano to this setup?

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What Did You Play? – A Bunch of Professional Murderers’ Murderers

What Did You Play? – A Bunch of Professional Murderers’ Murderers

The guys talk Demon’s Souls and Far Cry 3, both of which Donald played this week. Brad didn’t actually play either of those games, but he’s always down to talk Far Cry 3. We learn that Donald is intimidated by maps and, thanks to the way he set up his first Dark Souls character, Brad is intimidated by, well, everything.

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Episode 54 – The Real Rampage

Episode 54 – The Real Rampage

The guys sit down to talk about Rampage. The game that inspired a movie 32 years after it’s release. But is there more to this simple video game an meets the eye? The guys investigate what might be the real meaning of the monster trios trip up the eastern seaboard. Things get a little dark this episode.

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What Did You Play? – The Shame Game

What Did You Play? – The Shame Game

It’s once again time for the guys to talk about the games they’ve played recently. This week Donald steps into the role of his alter ego, Donquency Vibration, to attend high school as a 30 year old in NBA 2K16, while Brad makes some surprising discoveries about the costume selection in Dead or Alive 5.

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Episode 53 – Step Five: Ruin A Tai Chi Class

Episode 53 – Step Five: Ruin A Tai Chi Class

By the third entry in a series, fighting games usually struggle to deal with the conflicting need to keep things fresh but also not alienate long-time players. Street Fighter Alpha 3 seems to be the rare exception that manages to do both. Donald and Brad check it out to see if there’s anything that can be learned and applied to other series. Perhaps all Soul Calibur 3 really needed was a really excited announcer.

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What Did You Play? – Dark Souls is Taking Over My Life

What Did You Play? – Dark Souls is Taking Over My Life

Brad and Donald get together to discuss the games that they played this week. Donald shares some alarming stats about Dark Souls 3, while Brad talks about the virtues of racing Monster Trucks vs. Buggies in Forza Horizon 3.

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Episode 52 – Our Own Horn

Episode 52 – Our Own Horn

CBR has somehow managed to produce a year’s worth of episodes! In recognition of this feat, Donald and Brad look back at the year, talk about some of their favorite moments, and reveal some of the better ideas that came to them after the relevant episode was already recorded. There’s also some exciting news for Season 2!

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Episode 51 – Orange Person Causes The End Of The World

Episode 51 – Orange Person Causes The End Of The World

For decades, NASA has been sending music into space, both as physical media and as broadcasts. And for nearly as long, dissenting scientists and science fiction writers have been saying “Hey, stop doing that!” for fear that it might attract the attention of aggressive, more advanced alien life forms that will attack us.

But what if instead of being belligerent, the aliens were just extremely funky? Brad and Donald played Toe Jam and Earl to find the answer to that question, and it turns out we might not be any safer.

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Episode 50 – A Pile of Ghosts

Episode 50 – A Pile of Ghosts

The cost of creating a video game has spiraled to such an extreme level that publishers and developers are relying on every trick they can think of – endless sequels, loot crates, constant DLC releases – to squeeze every last dollar they can out of consumers. But what if they instead took the approach of trying to keep costs down? Could you make a quality game on a tight budget? This week, Donald and Brad try to answer that question by checking out A Boy and His Blob for the NES, a game that was made by a small staff in the fraction of the time that it took to make a standard NES game.

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Episode 49 – Step Five: Hone Your Cutting Wit

Episode 49 – Step Five: Hone Your Cutting Wit

For the final week of EA month, the guys bring in a special guest, Dan, talk about Shaq Fu, a game in which Shaquille O’Neal masters the ancient art of Shaquido and travels to another dimension to beat up a small child. EA did this instead of a basketball game. This really happened.

To help the cause click here.

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Episode 48 – The 120MPH Bogeyman

Episode 48 – The 120MPH Bogeyman

What if you had a motorcycle race and nobody came? Or… what if you had a motorcycle race and the other drivers didn’t know they were in a race? And then you punched them? For week 3 of EA month, the guys discuss Road Rash.

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Episode 47 – The Best Game You Should Never Play

Episode 47 – The Best Game You Should Never Play

Is it possible to love a game and yet never actually want to play it ever again? For week two of EA month, the guys discuss Rings of Power, a Genesis RPG that was way ahead of its time… in both good and bad ways.

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Episode 46 – Champagne Vat Party

Episode 46 – Champagne Vat Party

Believe it or not, there was a time when EA was actually one of the best publishers on consoles, and a huge influence on the success of the Sega Genesis. All February long, CBR will be looking at some of the most important 16-bit Electronic Arts games. The guys kick off EA month with a look at the Strike series.

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Episode 45 – The $107K Game

Episode 45 – The $107K Game

Brad and Donald are all excited to talk about the S**** Bowl, until their lawyers tell them they’re not actually allowed to say S**** Bowl on the air. In the spirit of this, they play an unlicensed football game this week, and much like every time the Patriots have won the S**** Bowl, everyone ends up sad.
View all the ABC Monday Night Football teams here.

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Episode 44 – Chrono Chrono Trigger Cross Part 2

Episode 44 – Chrono Chrono Trigger Cross Part 2

The sequel to Chrono Trigger was eagerly anticipated by fans and was released to rave reviews. However, it left gamers with a lot of questions. Questions like, why is this nothing like Chrono Trigger? What even is this? And why is Marilyn Manson in it? Donald and Brad investigate the great mystery that is Chrono Cross.

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Episode 43 – Chrono Chrono Trigger Cross Part 1

Episode 43 – Chrono Chrono Trigger Cross Part 1

When traveling the nuanced waves of time one must be extremely careful to not ruin everything in existence. So why not give this power to outcast teenagers? This week the guys discuss the Square classic Chrono Cross, and all the calamity held within.

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Episode 42 – Janie’s Got A CD

Episode 42 – Janie’s Got A CD

The guys decide enough is enough and join the revolution. Unfortunately, they end up in Revolution X helping Aerosmith. This is made even worse by the fact that one of them cannot stand Aerosmith and the details of what they are fighting for are sketchy at best. But they get to throw CDs at helicopters, so that is cool. So get your best microphone ribbons and hop in the nearest high-end production car, it’s time to fight for your right to listen to a washed up band.

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Episode 41 – Game Of The Year ‘88

Episode 41 – Game Of The Year ‘88

Trying to pick a Game of the Year for a year that just ended doesn’t really make a lot of sense – how can you properly evaluate a game that you literally just finished playing? And how can anyone possibly know what a game’s legacy will be so soon? For these reasons, the guys determine that an award like this should only be given out after an appropriate “cooling off” period, say… 30 years. This was definitely done for journalistic reasons and not because the show’s budget didn’t allow them to actually buy any games that came out in 2017.

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Episode 40 – Resale Value Of A Toyota

Episode 40 – Resale Value Of A Toyota

The guys imagine what it might be like to have $150, and jump online for a retro game shopping spree. Donald tracks down a console that never made it to the US, while Brad ends up buying TWO pro wrestling games for some reason.

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Episode 39 – Stimulating the Economy Through Video Games

Episode 39 – Stimulating the Economy Through Video Games

Marketing in the age of alternative was a tricky proposition, especially for an industry that was still relatively new to television advertising. Donald and Brad check out some of the famous (or infamous) video game commercials of the 1990s and give their analysis. The guys also share a theory on why one local business might not have had many repeat customers.

Watch the commercials here

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Episode 38 – Kim Jung Mario

Episode 38 – Kim Jung Mario

The guys sit down with guest Scott to talk about Mario Kart and the truths about Mario and the Mushroom Kingdom are revealed. Like, super dark and disturbing truths. Why do people hang out with Mario? Where do you put a potted Piranha plant? What happened to Pauline?

**Please not Scott’s microphone decided to not play nice and his audio is a bit scratchy part way thought**

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Episode 37 – Hotline Spreadsheet

Episode 37 – Hotline Spreadsheet

What happens when the guy’s wives let them have a whole twenty dollars? They spend it right away of course. But what do you buy when there are so many games on Steam and so little time to look at them all? They turn to each other’s expertise to help each other select Steam games. It’s all 100% less confusing than this description.

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Episode 36 – Blame Yourself Or God

Episode 36 – Blame Yourself Or God

Donald the Ninja and Brad the Chocobo Groomer head on down to Ivalice to check out Final Fantasy Tactics, but it isn’t long before they’re abandoned at a tavern to do odd jobs and acquire the skills necessary to do their constantly changing jobs. Along the way Donald learns to complement his Ninja skills through the mastery of firearms, while Brad finally discovers his true calling – dancing and turning people into frogs.

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Episode 35 – Sad Misery Factory

Episode 35 – Sad Misery Factory

Long before he began his lucrative job of badmouthing old Sega Genesis games, Brad worked at an Electronics Boutique. This week he enthralls us with tales of drunk Radio Shack employees, gullible co-workers, and various backup players for the Buffalo Bills.

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Episode 34 – Rage City Roller Tweens

Episode 34 – Rage City Roller Tweens

Who do you call when Mr.X won’t stop sending hardened crime into Rage City? Not the cops, that’s for sure. What you need is three ex-cops, Australian wildlife, a Pro Wrestler, a tween, and an old robot. How will they fix your city? We really aren’t quite sure. But when the Streets of Rage city are in danger, they are there to save the day. Then go to knockoff Theme Parks.

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Episode 33 – Brad Explains Dynasty Warriors to Donald

Episode 33 – Brad Explains Dynasty Warriors to Donald

Dynasty Warriors has been going on in its current form for 17 years, spawning numerous sequels, add-ons, and spins offs, not to mention scores of characters and hundreds of different versions of the Battle of Hu Lao Gate. With that much content, it can be a little intimidating for a newcomer to the series. Brad attempts to ease both Donald and the listeners into the series by explaining the basics, including most importantly, which games in the franchise are actually any good.

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Episode 32 – Hand-Crafted-Artisanal-Monsters

Episode 32 – Hand-Crafted-Artisanal-Monsters

Sinister forces gather to assault London in the 1800s… or was it the 1600s? Also, there’s a Snowman, for some reason? Mark returns to the show to help us try to make some sense out of Nightmare Creatures.

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Episode 31 – Go $%*# Yourself, SF Rush

Episode 31 – Go $%*# Yourself, SF Rush

San Francisco Rush was a hit arcade game and received glowing reviews when it was released on the N64. The actual product was nowhere near as fun as what you would have expected. What went wrong? Brad and Donald investigate.

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Episode 30 – Low Budget Pokemon Stadium

Episode 30 – Low Budget Pokemon Stadium

Brad and Donald put on their cowboy hats an grab their slop buckets to try their hand at Monster Ranching. Then they quickly get bored and instead make their monsters fight for money. But only because a 14-year-old girl told them it was a good idea. Monster Rancher might be kinda nuts.

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Episode 29 – Not Up To Code

Episode 29 – Not Up To Code

It’s the 20th Anniversary of Castlevania: Symphony of the Night and the guys are eager to talk about one of their all-time favorite games. Enjoy a few deep discussions of castle design, bad voice acting, and whether Dracula picks the monsters himself or if they just kind of show up. More importantly, they also get into a lengthy discussion about the scariest character in this entire horror-themed game – that creepy-ass old librarian! Hehe! Like you!

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Episode 28 – Don’t Eat your Customers. We’ve Been Over This

Episode 28 – Don’t Eat your Customers. We’ve Been Over This

Rupture Farms was one of the most profitable businesses in Oddworld, but recent management flubs have hurt the company badly. Donald and Brad put on their business hats and talk about the some of the decisions that have hurt the business, including poor factory design, unsustainable agriculture practices, and blatant mismanagement of forced labor.

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Episode 27- Really Good At Being Bad At Everything

Episode 27- Really Good At Being Bad At Everything

DJ B-Law and MC DonCon kick and chop their way down to the flea market to check out PaRappa the Rapper, and try to answer the question – what exactly is it that Daisy Flower is looking for in a man – karate skills? Culinary mastery? The ability to use the bathroom properly? Or maybe she just wants someone who is able to communicate without rapping.

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Episode 26 – Step Four: Learn If Swords Are Lethal

Episode 26 – Step Four: Learn If Swords Are Lethal

The guys dive into feudal Japan – or possibly just the late 90s – to play some Bushido Blade. Donald talks about the virtues of the waiting game, and forcing your opponents to make a fatal mistake, while Brad finds victory by somewhat less honorable means.

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Episode 25 – Drive It While You Steal It

Episode 25 – Drive It While You Steal It

Brad has had twenty years to process his thoughts on the events of Felony 11-79. Donald has had a week. It’s amazing how many hot takes come from a game that only takes twenty minutes to finish. Join Brad as Donald attempts to sort through Felony 11-79.

Check out the Surf Coasters!

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Episode 24 – Inject The Living With The Dead

Episode 24 – Inject The Living With The Dead

The guys celebrate the 20th anniversary of final Fantasy VII by analysing the Shinra Company’s controversial technique of generating electricity using human souls, before realizing that that’s actually one the the least bizarre aspects of the game. Donald talks about going on a date with a red lion… dog… thing, and Brad debuts the Final Fantasy Insanity Scale.

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Episode 23 – Not-So-Secret-Agent

Episode 23 – Not-So-Secret-Agent

CBR kicks off its celebration of the 20th anniversary of the Fall of 1997 – a great time for gaming when several awesome games came out in a relatively brief span of time. This week the guys put on their tuxes and dive into Goldeneye. Does anyone know if the carpool lanes in St. Petersburg allow tanks?

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Episode 22 – CBRamania

Episode 22 – CBRamania

“The Con Man” Donald Conrad and “The Brad Guy” Brad Lawrence join forces to talk about late 90s wrestling games. They talk about some of the classics for the N64, as well as the Fire Pro series, but it isn’t long before they focus their attention where it really belongs – on iconic wrestler Randy “the Macho Man” Savage. Ooooh YEAH!

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Episode 21 – A Bunch Of Professional Murderers

Episode 21 – A Bunch Of Professional Murderers

Brad Beard the Dreaded and Donald the Castaway embark on an epic talk of Pirates! Gold for the Sega Genesis. Towns will be plundered, sugar will be left, and Governors will be shady. So, grab a map from a retired pirate and join us on a quest to trade goods and randomly emphasize the WRONG! words in sentences.

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Episode 20 – Donald Explains Fear Effect to Brad

Episode 20 – Donald Explains Fear Effect to Brad

The guys attempt to play Fear Effect this week, but Brad comes down with Skyrim addiction, so Donald attempts to explain all the cool stuff he missed out on including the logistical limitations of hell, how to tailor clothes in the middle of a gunfight, and late 90s cell phones.

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Episode 19 – Cold Pizza Aficionado

Episode 19 – Cold Pizza Aficionado

This week our biggest fan impersonates Ivan Drago perfectly and says “I must break you” to Donald and Brad. It works. It’s time to play a fan request and for Corporation Sponsorship in video games week!

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Episode 18 – Donald and Brad Go Shopping

Episode 18 – Donald and Brad Go Shopping

Most games get pretty cheap after a few years, but some stubbornly hold on to some of their value, and a rare few even appreciate over time. Are they really worth it, though? In the abstract it’s easy enough to say they are, but the decision gets a lot harder when the guys are faced with a choice of a valuable game of other exciting products selling at a the same price.

See the items we talk about in this episode here. (Spoilers)

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Episode 17 – Of Raptors and Grant

Episode 17 – Of Raptors and Grant

Donald and Brad pack their bags and head off to Jurassic Park, where they explore a volcano, throw grenades at pterodactyls, and try to avoid being headbutted by a floppy-necked T-Rex. You know, just like in the movie! I mean, not like in the movie Jurassic Park, obviously, but in some other movie that apparently the guys making this game watched instead.

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Episode 16 – The Gifts We Kept on Getting

Episode 16 – The Gifts We Kept on Getting

This week the guys take on Double Drag… wait,wasn’t that what we did last week? Well, you know what they say – you haven’t REALLY played Double Dragon (or Ninja Gaiden, or Altered Beast) until you’ve played it on a tiny LCD screen with barely responsive buttons and a minimalist take on animation. It’s Tiger Handhelds week on CBR.

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Episode 15 – Big Lee’s Karate School For Kids

Episode 15 – Big Lee’s Karate School For Kids

Brad “the Blue one” Lawrence and Donald “the Red one” Conrad hit the streets and talk some Double Dragon. Was Marion’s kidnapping a desperate attempt to curb urban sprawl? What is the proper workplace etiquette regarding weapons? And how the heck did everyone know that the guy with the machine gun was named Jeff?

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Episode 14 – More Than We Ever Wanted To Know…Ever

Episode 14 – More Than We Ever Wanted To Know…Ever

The guys are joined by special guest Mark, a Sonic expert who knows EVERYTHING about Sega’s favorite blue rodent. No seriously, he knows everything. It actually gets pretty dark!

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Episode 13 – Step Three: Master A Made-up Martial Art

Episode 13 – Step Three: Master A Made-up Martial Art

Brad and Donald play one of the most disappointing games ever hyped at the E3s of yesteryear – Star Wars Masters of Teras Kasai. Remember that scene in Star Wars where Chewie and Leia had a fistfight in the middle of the Battle of Hoth? Well, thanks to this game, they’ll never forget it, no matter how hard they try.

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Episode 12 – Fus-Ro-D’oh!

Episode 12 – Fus-Ro-D’oh!

The guys have a special guest on to discuss their adventures in Skyrim. They talk about trying to get orphans to fight dogs, accidentally starting civil wars, and the most brutal friend zoning in the history of gaming. Brad reveals something shocking about his diet.

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Episode 11 – Pants Are For The Weak

Episode 11 – Pants Are For The Weak

Donald and Brad join the Shining Force, but end up sitting on the bench behind a dragon, a centaur, and a crusty old dwarf named Gort. But at least they learn what it is to be a true power player in a world of very generic names.

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Episode 10 – The US Department of Bad Dudes

Episode 10 – The US Department of Bad Dudes

In 1985, President Ronnie was rescued from The Ninjas by the Bad Dudes. 30 years later, the current president is threatening to kick bad dudes out of the country or send them to Guantanamo Bay. Donald and Brad discuss how the Bad Dudes could have fallen so far, and also whether or not they have their own trucking company.

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Episode 9 – A Sabres Fan and a Predators Fan Walk Into a Bar…

Episode 9 – A Sabres Fan and a Predators Fan Walk Into a Bar…

The NHL playoffs are in full swing, which means it’s time to talk about classic hockey games. The guys talk NHL ‘94, Blades of Steel, and a few others, as well as discussing fighting, the futility of the Buffalo Sabres, and trying to explain to the cops that you don’t know “Real Goalie” or “Thor”’s actual name.

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Episode 8 – Metroids, Mullets, and 80s Firebirds

Episode 8 – Metroids, Mullets, and 80s Firebirds

Coming to you live from an abandoned Blockbuster Video, Brad and Donald talk about Super Metroid, and the Metroid series in general. Are metroids really that dangerous, or is Samus just bragging/trying to justify hunting them to near-extinction? Also, what would an actual space bounty hunter look like?

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Episode 7 – Hell’s Warehouse

Episode 7 – Hell’s Warehouse

Cyber Sex chat rooms, French space Marines and Warehouses. It’s time to talk about DOOM. If Hell is so good for the environment why do people think it’s such a bad place? Brad and Donald blast through this important topic!

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Episode 6 – Making Metro City Great Again… By Punching Everyone in the Face

Episode 6 – Making Metro City Great Again… By Punching Everyone in the Face

This week Dug and Bread discuss politics. Is Mayor Haggar hurting his chances of reelection with his aggressive “punch everyone and everything you see” leadership style? How does a tough on crime mayor get elected mayor of a city that is 100% criminals, anyway? Also, Bread reveals his first ever crush on a video game character – that girl is Poison!

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Episode 5 – Step Two: Wear Less Armor

Episode 5 – Step Two: Wear Less Armor

Brad and Donald attempt to talk about the Soul Edge/Caliber series, get off topic, and end up discussing nearly every fighting game of the late 90s, (including for some reason, Fighting Vipers), as well as the original Castle Wolfenstein and somehow, Brad’s favorite movie of 2001, The Fast and the Furious.

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Episode 4 – The Backup Plan

Episode 4 – The Backup Plan

Super savvy investors Donald and Brad discuss Resident Evil 3 and the business strategy of the Umbrella Corporation. How do you calculate a PE Ratio on a pharmaceutical company that keeps buying towns and private islands?

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Episode 3 – That’s a Nice Robot You Got There…

Episode 3 – That’s a Nice Robot You Got There…

In Mega Man 2, we’re told that Dr. Wily has built 8 master robots to counter Mega Man. We then see those 8 robots… chilling out in their own rooms, not really doing anything. Is it possible this threat to the world has been overstated? I mean, one of the robots is Bubble Man, after all. Aso: the boys HATE StarFox.

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Episode 2 – Tomb Liquidation

Episode 2 – Tomb Liquidation

Lara Croft travels the world, wrecking ancient ruins, stealing their treasures, and selling the artifacts she “discovers” on the black market to shady corporations. She also murders pretty much everyone who tries to stop her. Is it possible that she isn’t actually the hero? The fact that the series is called “Tomb Raider” maybe should have been the first clue. Also: Brad brags about how good he is at driving the fire truck in GTA 3.

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Episode 1 – Step One: Win Karate Tournament

Episode 1 – Step One: Win Karate Tournament

Donald and Brad talk Street Fighter 2, M. Bison’s plan for world domination, and whether anyone is even in charge of the Street Fighter tournament. If E. Honda wins, do we have to live under a sumo regime? Also: Crazy Taxi, everyone’s favorite Offspring album/KFC advertising platform disguised as a game.

 

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